Safe Online Dating

Dating online can be a scary mysterious thing for many people. Of course you're going to be a little questionable of someone you meet online because how do you really know if they are who they say they are? Well here are some tips to assure your safety so you can make meeting people online fun!

1. Never give out your personal information online, or on the phone. You may have been talking to them forever and think they are the most honest and decent person, but you JUST NEVER KNOW. Hold off on giving out addresses and last names until you've actually met them and know they aren't crazy.

2. When and if you finally decide to meet someone in person make sure it is a VERY public place. Meet at a restaurant or a coffee shop. That way if you feel unsafe at any time, there are plenty of people around and you can leave easily. Also never leave with them, say your goodbye's there because you don't want to risk getting into a car with a stranger. Save that for a later date.

3. So you've gone on multiple dates and feel pretty comfortable, but realize you have never met a single friend or family member. Beware this is not good if they are keeping you from meeting anyone they know. They could possibly have dishonest motives for seeing you.

4. Try to avoid profiles without pictures. This is never a good sign. If you can't see who they are then how do you know whom you are talking to?

5. It is always a good idea to not only chat online with them often, but also talk on the phone. This way you get a sense of what they sound like and can better grasp who they are. If they refuse to speak on the phone with you after chatting for a long time online, then that is probably not a good sign, and you should probably not get involved with this person.

6. You might consider getting a background check on your date before you meet in person. Background checks do not offer any guarantees, but they should be able to identify the person's age, current and previous addresses, criminal records, and if they're married or not. These can be done online from sites like USA People Search or PeopleFinders.com, to name a couple.

Ultimately the key to successful and safe online dating is common sense. Your conscience will tell you whether or not it's a good idea to meet them. So just listen to your head, and happy dating!

To meet singles in your area, visit DateHookup.com Personals, a 100% free dating service.

Relationships Don’t Work - In Successful Relationships, the People Work at Being Together

The starry eyed bride and puffed up with pride groom believe their marriage was made in heaven and trust it will work.

The client couple sit in front of the marriage counsellor and say; "This just isn't working." or "I'm not IN love anymore."

Marriages don't work but couples can work to make the style of marriage they desire. They can rekindle that IN love feeling.

Genuine relationships are based on agreements the couple make with each other. Not only do they make deals, they work to hold up their part of the responsibilities they assume. If one agrees to do the laundry and the other to handle the garbage, they accept the job and do it without having to be asked, nagged or reminded. In a well functioning marriage each partner takes their roles and responsibilities seriously.

They do not:

1. see their partner as a parent.

2. treat their partner disrespectfully.

3. shrink from the practical jobs of running their home.

4. blame their partner for their unhappiness.

5. run home to mom or others and complain about their spouse.

They do:

1. act like a responsible adult.

2. speak politely with no swearing and name calling.

3. accept it was their choice in partner.

4. make time and have energy for sexual activities.

5. laugh and play together.

So often when responsibility walks in the door, romance flies out the window. Romance and responsibility are opposites and every marriage needs both.

One way to work at marriage is to discuss problems with your spouse and not with someone who has no power or ability to solve the problem. Too often people turn to a family member, a friend or start a new relationship instead of clearly identifying the problem and working it through with their partner. Problems can be solved. It takes two willing partners who are committed to being married to each other. Sometimes it take professional help.

Love’s All About Chemistry

People who have been swept off their feet know the feeling. Love makes us all feel funny. That sense of giddy disorientation, unsinkable euphoria and complete obsession with a new love can be so overpowering, that it's hard to imagine it's all about emotion. Now scientists are confirming there indeed may be a lot more going on in a body that's in love than simple, happy thoughts. In fact, a spate of research has shown what kind of chemical and neurological activities occur at different stages of human and animal relationships. While the results hardly make love less mysterious, they do start to shed light on why it can make people feel so funny.

DOPED UP

Helen Fisher, a research professor of anthropology at Rutgers University , is among many scientists who believe the flush of a new love is enhanced by natural stimulants in the brain, dopamine and norepinphrine. She explains that high levels of these natural chemicals can make people lose their appetites and their desire for sleep, just by thinking about their new infatuations. "These are basic traits commonly associated with romantic love and with these natural stimulants," she says. "What else could explain the way you constantly think about a person, about the way you want to read them your bad poetry?"

Further studies show that gushy romantic sensations may be similar to the highs drug addicts feel when they're under the influence. Nora Volkow; the associate director for life sciences at Brookhaven National Laboratory in New York , has analysed the behaviours of drug addicts and people in love and found striking parallels. "When a person is passionately in love, it is extremely exciting and provocative, and if the loved one is not there, distressing," says Volkow. "When I see my drug addicted patients, it just clicks with me how similar the addiction is. "The fact that drug addiction and passionate love may trigger the same responses, signals to Volkow that drug addiction is especially dangerous since it taps into a natural sensation.

STIRRING THE BRAIN

She points out that recent studies show the same regions of the brain including the frontal cortex which is activated when a drug addict is high and when someone in love is looking at a picture of a loved one. Researchers at University College in London recently recorded changes in the brains of people who described themselves as "truly and madly" in love. The researchers, Andreas Bartels and Semir Zeki used a functional magnetic resonance imager to scan the brains of 17 lovehappy volunteers. When the team showed volunteers photos of their lovers, the results were dramatic. Four small areas of the brain lit up instantly the same areas that have been shown to respond to euphoria-inducing drugs.

Old friends, apparently, don't quite cause the same stir. Fisher is conducting similar studies and is scanning the brain activity of people newly in love.

THREE STAGES OF LOVE

As most know; however, the rush people feel from new love usually doesn't last forever. And Fisher is also interested in understanding the biological stimulants and anthropological explanations for all phases of love.

She argues that there are three main stages to a love relationship: lust, romantic love and attachment. The first, she says, is "to get you looking for anything at all" and is driven by hormones like testosterone.

The romantic love phase, which creates the brain chemical reactions described by the London researchers, serves to "force you to focus your mating energy on one person at a time."

And the fmal, less steamy stage of attachment is to ensure that any children produced by a love match has parents at least through its early years.

Research shows there may also be chemicals associated with feelings of attachment. When researchers injected a natural chemical called oxytocin into the mice, the animals immediately formed attachments. When they injected chemicals that block the effect of oxytocin, Fisher says; the mice "avoided their partners and acted like cads."

Recent studies have zeroed in on the chemistry of love, revealing what kind of chemical and neurological activities occur at different stages of human and animal relationships.

Love is enhanced by natural stimulants to the brain, dopamine and noreinphrine.

Gushy romantic sensations similar to the high of drug addiction.

Regions of the brain stirred when thinking of the loved one.

The stages of lust, love and attachment are affected by body chemicals.

Romantic Bath Setup

How to setup a romantic bath

The purest union that can exist between a man and a woman is that created by the sense of smell and sanctioned by the brain's normal assimilation of the animate molecules emitted by the secretions produced by two bodies in contact and sympathy, and in their subsequent evaporation. (Auguste Galopin in"The Perfume of Women and the Sense of Smell in Love")

Throughout history, the ritual of bathing has always been associated with sensuality, from Cleopatra and the Queen of Sheba to the modern day. Indian monks used bathing as an act of piety and a symbol of purity- indeed, before marriage, both bride and groom had to perform a ritual involving a bath. Bathing in the Nile was also a solemn ritual for the Egyptians. Most ancient civilisations recognised the sensual nature of bathing and determined the oils and scents which enhanced the body's response to the luxury.

Roman Baths:

Bathing reached a height of decadence in the Roman period, when attending the Baths became a vital part of the middle and upper class Roman day. The baths included a cool bath, a steam room and a hot bath. Some also included a swimming pool, library, a gymnasium and the Roman equivalent to a massage parlour. The Baths were generally divided into male and female areas; a particularly good example being in England. Bath was named for the Roman remains which are still the subject of much interest today.

Milk Baths:

The history of the milk bath begins with Cleopatra, who was renowned in antiquity for her radiant beauty. This beauty was said to have been because of the Queen bathing in milk scented with honey, lavender, or rose petals. Some sources even suggest that strawberries and raspberries were used on occasion to scent her bath. It is said that Cleopatra's boat was so fragrant with rose petals that Mark Antony smelled the perfume before he saw the vessel itself. It is no stretch of the imagination to consider the fact that Cleopatra probably shared baths with both her lovers- Caesar and Antony. Science has reinforced the legend of Cleopatra's beauty, showing that bathing in milk relaxes the body and softens the skin, the early scientist Pythagoras being the first to recognize the positive effects.

A recipe for bath milk similar to Cleopatra's is as follows:

Ingredients:

1/4 Cup Powdered Milk

1/4 Cup Liquid Honey

One teaspoon Jojoba Oil

4 drops Rose Essential Oil

5 drops Patchouli Essential Oil

5 drops Sandalwood Essential Oil

In a large bowl, mix all ingredients and add to warm bath water. To create an ambient setting, light candles (use rose, patchouli or sandalwood for best effect) and/or burn incense of the same scents.

Bath-Sheba:

Another of the most popular love-stories based around bathing is the story of King David's love-affair with Bath-Sheba. It began when he saw her bathing on her roof; the sight entranced him and he fell for her almost instantly, later marrying her. Their son was King Solomon. The legend is sometimes embellished, with poets describing the ardour in detail and suggesting any number of additives to the water she bathed in- few dissimilar to those Cleopatra is said to have utilized.

Bath Scents:

The ancient Greeks associated beautiful scents with the divine. One particularly beautiful ritual included an immersion of doves in scented water. The doves were then released, sprinkling water over the gathering as a representation of the blessings of the goddess of love, Aphrodite.

In Roman times, Nero built special ducts in his Golden Palace that would pour forth aromatic water, while also strewing the carpets with rose petals (some say he learned this from the liaison between Mark Antony and Cleopatra.)

Napoleon Bonaparte and his wife Josephine often used scents to enhance the atmosphere, and used baths as a sensuous display of romantic interest. Josephine is reputed to have been fond of musk, while Napoleon preferred rosemary. Indeed, at St Helena, he used his incense burner until the day of his death.

Additional Considerations:

To add to the relaxing, sensual atmosphere, it can often help to prepare a bottle of champagne or red wine. Red wine is especially compatible if sandalwood incense or bath oil is used. Keeping the lighting low, using candles if possible, accentuates the atmosphere. Soft background music can also be greatly helpful.

Reading People: Body Language Briefing

Body language is the meaning behind the words or the "unspoken" language. Surprisingly, studies show that only up to an estimated 10 percent of our communication is verbal.

The majority of the rest of communication is unspoken. This unspoken language isn't rocket science. However, there are some generalizations or basic interpretations that can be applied to help with the understanding or translating of these unspoken meanings. Here are some basics below.

1. Smile

People like warm smiles. Think of a heartfelt warm-fussy, maybe your favorite pet, and smile.

2. Eyes

If you don't look someone in the eyes while speaking, this can be interpreted as dishonesty or hiding something. Likewise, shifting eye movement or rapid changing of focus/direction can translate similarly.

If more than one person is present in a group, look each person in the eye as you speak, slowly turning to face the next person and acknowledge him or her with eye contact as well. Continue on so that each person has felt your warm, trusting glance. Some suggest beginning with one person and moving clockwise around the group so that no one is missed, and so that you are not darting around, seemingly glaring at people.

3. Attention Span / Attitude

Other people can tell what type attitude you have by your attention span. If you quickly lose focus of the other person and what is being said, and if your attention span wanders, this shows through and makes you seem disinterested, bored, possibly even uncaring.

4. Attention Direction

If you sit or stand so that you are blocking another in the party, say someone is behind you, this can be interpreted as rude or thoughtless. So be sure to turn so that everyone is included in the conversation or angle of view, or turn gently, at ease and slowly, while talking, so that everyone is incorporated, recognized and involved in the conversation. Again some suggest the clockwise movement when working a group.

5. Arms Folded / Legs Crossed

This can be seen as defensive or an end to the conversation. So have arms hang freely or hold a glass of water, a business card or note taking instruments while communicating with others. Be open with open arms. Note: If you need to cross legs, cross at your ankles and not your knees. Sitting tightly folded up says that you are closed to communications.

6. Head Shaking

If people are shaking their heads while you speak, they are in agreement. If they are shaking, "no," disagreement reigns in their minds.

7. Space / Distance

Foreign Love?

The Internet is certainly a great way to make new friends and find dates in your neighborhood, but what about all over the world? The answer is yes because the Internet is worldwide and you can meet individuals from anywhere simply sitting in your home on your computer. Because of this you need to be careful about beginning online relationships with individuals in foreign countries. This is not because these individuals are wrong to date; it is simply a consideration that when you want to meet your new love you will probably be the one to travel because getting a visa to the US or another industrialized country can often be very difficult.

Another reason that dating an individual in a foreign country should be considered is what will you do if you fall in love? Of course, this seems like a lot to think of before it ever happens to you. However, it is worthwhile to consider because if you do fall in love and want to meet and get married you will have to consider visas or else moving to that country yourself. Are you prepared to live in a foreign country? Are there job opportunities? Do you speak another language? Could you live away from your family? These are all things that should be considered before ever starting an online relationship with someone in another country because all of these topics will come up.

If you do decide to bring your fiance/ee to the US, UK, or other industrialized country you will have to fill out a lot of paperwork, file fees, hire a lawyer, and wait a long time. Even then the visa might not be approved and then where are you left? As a result, sometimes online dating of individuals that are not in your home country can cause a lot of hurt and heartache simply because once you decide you are in love and want to get married the road just extends longer until you can be together.

A great benefit of the Internet and online dating is that you can meet individuals worldwide, experience new cultures, new languages, and the like. However, consider the above questions before beginning a relationship with someone who does not live in your country because more times than not the relationship will not make it through the adversity that is posed. Just keep this in mind and if you are willing to put forth the effort, go ahead, but it is nice to know where you stand before you get involved and get hurt or cause someone else pain.

Internet Dating Services Scams by Beautiful Women

In my personal opinion, I sincerely believe one of the best ways to meet single women is by using one of the many large internet dating services. I won't mention their names, but go to Yahoo or Google search engines and type in the search words, (internet dating services). You'll find the big ones with large databases of single women.

It's an easy way to meet lovely single women in your area or from afar. Plus, it's convenient. All you do is sign up and post your photo and profile or browse the photos and profiles of women that you are attracted to. Then simply contact her and exchange emails and take it from there.

The purpose of this article is to make you aware that there are some dishonest beautiful women out there using these internet dating services for personal or monetary gain. They have no interest in meeting you and they may even be married.

Is this a widespread problem? No, it's not and there are only a few of these phony women lurking on the dating sites to take advantage of unsuspecting men.

Let me explain how this scam works on the internet dating services. Ok, You're real excited about browsing the photos of single women. You browse through their database and you mostly see average-looking women. But, occasionally you see beautiful women who look like they just jumped out of the pages of Playboy. And their photos look like they were professionally taken and they may be wearing sexy-looking clothes and posing in a sexy manner.

You may wonder why in the world would a beautiful woman like this be advertising for romance on an internet dating site? She should have no trouble whatsoever attracting men on her own. She doesn't need to run ads to attract men.

You think this gorgeous and sexy-looking woman is just too good to be true. You know the old saying, "If it's too good to be true, it probably is." Let me explain why:

So you and many other guys say to themselves, "I've just got to meet this babe!" So you contact her and anxiously await her reply.

Bingo! She replies back and you can hardly wait to read her email. To your disappointment, all she does is direct you to a website where you can view more photos of her. So, you go to the website and it's a pay website to see more photos of her naked or having sex. Or the website may contain photos of her along with links to sign up for cybersex, which she makes money off of.

My friend, you have been taken for a ride. She had no intention whatsoever to want to get to know you or meet you. She just wanted to use you for personal or monetary gain.

If you are a victim of this scam be sure and report it to the internet dating site. This is fraudulent advertising on her part and unfair to men by getting their hopes up in thinking that they may be able to score with a Playmate type of woman.

In closing, most of the beautiful-looking single women on the internet dating sites are honest. I just wanted to warn you about a few bad apples out there.

Your in Love, So Now What?

Falling in love is wonderful, it's exciting and truly the adventure of a lifetime. I believe in Love at First Sight and I believe in people being "meant for each other". I also believe that learning to love and be loved is a life long learning experience. That is what this article is about.

There are different ways of looking at love. If you feel love in your heart for your partner, you might consider yourself "In Love" with them. That is a wonderful thing, and obviously where it all starts. Staying in love means you need to "do love", not just feel it. It means you take time to communicate, compromise, and deeply relate to each other.

The challenge is to discover how to "Do Love" in a way that benefits your own love partnership. I believe the first step is to take very good care of you. Offering your partner your best self is a most excellent gift. Attend to your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs to the best of your ability. Pursue activities that help you develop the best self to offer to your partner. You want to make sure you are as healthy as you can be to fully accept the love your partner is showering back on you too.

You will also want to take a close look at the preconceived ideas you have about love and your relationship with that special person. As you are growing up, you form beliefs about what roles people "should" play in your life. For example, a man might just take it for granted that the women he falls in love with will always cook his dinner and do the laundry. A woman might think the man should be the one that knows how to fix the car or other home maintenance issues.

Be very honest with yourself in making your list of expectations. After you have your list throw it away. The minute you start putting your preconceived expectations on another person, you are in for trouble. Take the time to communicate and compromise with your partner when it comes to domestic responsibilities. Find solutions that work best for both of you.

Now, go on an exploration of what both you and your partner need to feel loved. People experience love in different ways. Perhaps you need to hear love and can ask your partner to tell you often how much they love you and enjoy being with you. Other's need to feel love. They feel loved when their partner takes the time to be affectionate, kiss them hello and good-bye and freely give hugs and hand holding.

In order to "Do Love", you want to know what sort of activities to pursue that will help your partner stay reassured of your love for them, in ways they best experience love. You also want to be able to communicate to them how you experience love so they can do the same for you.

Another one of the absolute best things you can do for the love of your life is to stay aware. This is probably the most important and least talked about area of relationships. Your immediate presence is by far the best present you can give to those you care about! Look at them as if they are brand new in your life every day. People change and grow and you want to be in relationship with the person you love today, not the image you have in your head about them. This also helps maintain appreciation for the person sharing their life with you.

Doing Love is something you recommit to every day. It's an excellent adventure and will help assure that the love you feel for each other stays exciting and fresh for years to come! If you would like more specific suggestions for your unique love life, or want to learn more about the topics discussed in this article, please feel free to email me at anytime.

Great Relationships: 7 Secrets You Must Know to Make It

1. Commitment

True commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Here's one of my favorite quotes about marriage:

"When you marry, you don't marry one person, you marry three:

The person you think he is;

the person he really is;

and the person he is going to become as a result of marrying you."

Key strategy: Genuine commitment involves being committed to the growth and best interest of your partner. Or as one wise married person said to me, "What's good for my partner, is good for me."

2. Teamwork

There was once a couple who went by the name of Mr. Neat and Ms. Clean. Mr. Neat could bathe in a shower full of soap scum and not mind at all as long as the towels and soap were neat and in their place. Ms. Clean could have piles and piles of stuff scattered everywhere, as long as the piles were clean. This couple can have either a very neat and clean home or a real mess on their hands, depending on their ability to work together as a team.

Key strategy: Use the five most important words in marriage:

"Let's try it your way."

3. Communication

Without exception, every couple I have ever worked with struggles with effective communication. Part of the reason is that two people with the exact same communication style rarely marry each other. Because of this factor, we oftentimes misunderstand what the other person is saying and then react to what we think we have heard.

Key strategy: Use the 10 most important words in marriage _

"Let me see if I get what you are saying."

4. Meeting emotional needs

In the same way that two people with the same communication style rarely marry each other, spouses rarely have the same emotional needs. What happens is that each of us give what we would most like to get, but the other person may not want that at all. Key strategy: Discover and then meet the emotional needs of your partner.

How? Simple. Just ask!

5. Resolving conflict

Conflict in marriage is inevitable. Fighting is optional.

For some folks that's a revolutionary idea. The bottom line is that many times in marriage you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy, but you can't be both.

Key strategy: Stay away from "my way" or "your way" battles. Focus on "our way" solutions, or as Stephen Covey says, "win-win" solutions.

6. Apology & forgiveness

"Love means never having to say you're sorry," the theme from the movie "Love Story," has just one problem - one person died and the couple didn't get to see the long-term damage of never saying you're sorry.

Key strategy: On a regular basis, practice the three A's of successful relationships: Apologize for something from the past, appreciate something in the present and anticipate something in the future.

7. Creating a relationship vision

Most couples spend more time planning a three-day getaway than they do planning what kind of marriage they would like to have. Vision has been defined as "the ability to see beyond the probable by envisioning the possible … the act of dreaming without restriction opens up possibilities that you could not have considered before … "

Key strategy: Ask yourself and each other this question - "If we knew we couldn't fail, and we could design our relationship any way that we wanted it, how would we like it to be?"

Biggest Reasons Why Relationships Don’t Work

Do you think that relationships automatically develop into mature partnerships? They do, if both partners are willing to work at it. And yes, there is work involved.

However, there are several reasons why relationships don't work well. We will put in here just five of those biggest reasons.

1. FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE MORE