5 Reasons Why Affairs Don
What is the purpose for having an affair? Most people would say it is because they like or love the other person they are having the affair with. Think about this. At one time in your life, you also loved the person you married, right? What happened? Some people have affairs and trysts because they allow their negative emotions to control them. Simply put, they listen to their feelings. Sex outside of marriage is a lack of self-control. Having Self-control comes from God. No one has the power to defeat the flesh on his or her own.
We all want to be accepted, appreciated and loved and when we don't get that at home, some of us go out of our way to go get it. But it is morally wrong to go outside the bounds of marriage and enjoy someone other than who we married. So why do some people do it?
1. Affairs simply don't work because many times they are just a temporary fling. Marriage is (supposed to be) forever. And if the affair is not temporary, one day you might end up marrying the person you cheated with, and later find out the euphoria of the relationship is gone. And now your new spouse nags about your faults. Now what? Should you cheat on your second spouse now to make yourself "feel" better again?
2. Affairs don't work because you're married. More than half of all affairs dissolve because the cheater wants to repent and work on their marriage. This says something to all of you who get involved with a married person. Don't count your chickens before they're hatched. Better yet, don't get involved with a married person.
3. Affairs don't usually work because the unmarried partner is desperate for you to divorce your spouse. Their desperate behavior lets you see what kind of a person you have been hanging around with. Sooner or later, if they keep pushing you to divorce your spouse, you'll leave them and go back to your spouse.
4. Affairs don't work because after going through all the trouble of moving out of your house and being the bad guy with your children, you actually feel worse than before. This happens a lot. Adultery is not worth the effort. Have you ever thought about what kind of a person would have an affair with a married person anyway?
The reality is most people who commit adultery wish they wouldn't have done it. But the minority few cheaters will continue to cheat on all their partners until they are physically unable to. They will never find satisfaction within themselves, so they get it from using and abusing others. Fortunately, this is only the minority, but works for both men and women.
5. Affairs don't work because most of the time it is sexual lust that leads the heart to have the affair in the first place. Some people try real hard to find justification for committing adultery or they blame their spouse. This is how powerful feelings can be.
Wrong thinking steers people further and further away from God and closer and closer into sin. A person's lustful thoughts eventually make him to commit adultery. The need for acceptance and love is so strong in the mind that it leads to sex outside of marriage.
The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you. 2 Chronicles 15:2 NIV)
A person's infidelity is only the symptom of a greater issue within them. Without seeking out the Spiritual Christ for our spiritual well being, we will remain separate from God and unable to remain self-controlled. We need God!
Choosing to work on your marriage will make you a stronger and better marriage partner in the long run. You can skip all of this game playing with yourself and become the person God intended you to be. God has made us wise enough to make the right choices for ourselves. We can choose to love the person we married or we can follow the ways of the world. Use the gifts God has given you and work on your marriage.
For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. Titus 2:11-12
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Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)How To Save The Hopeless Conversation
Ever been talking with a woman, the conversation is rolling along, you are both laughing and enjoying yourselves and then out of nowhere, the conversation begins sinking faster than the Titanic!? It begins as a numb feeling in the pit of your stomach which works its way up your head. Everything you think to say seems "wrong" as self-doubt has now taken over. The conversation has taken a detour to the point of no return. You just blew your chances and are left wondering, what just happened?
This situation usually concludes with an awkward silence, and her unforgettable words "well, I guess I better get back to my friends."
Truthfully, this disaster might not have been your fault. You might have been saying and doing all the right things. It could be that she suddenly: got tired, needed to go to the bathroom, remembered that she left the stove on, or that final ill-fated beer made it to her head
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)My Online Date Is Now My Wife
I will always remember the first time I came across the idea of an online dating site, it was a number of years ago now and was suggested to me by a good friend. Id been on the singles market for quite a while, so to speak. My friend was trying to be helpful with what he thought was a gentle nudge in the right direction.
I remember it vividly, as at the time I was horrified by the idea of using a dating site. Me? I have no problem finding a date; it was natural to me, although when I thought about it at more length I had to admit that after many false starts, I was still hopelessly single. Even so, how could online dating possibly help me? Its full of people pretending to be people they're not and fake photos, isn't it?
I continued with my usual routine that evening, I went home, had dinner and sat myself down in front of the television. Except that evening, I had a nagging thought in the back of my head; it would simply not go away. In the end, all I could think about was online dating and how I should at least take a look at it.
I pottered across to my PC and logged in, using my favourite search engine I nervously typed in the phrase online dating. My search was returned and I decided to click on the site that was at the top. I do not recall my first reaction, what I do remember is thinking how easy the site was to use and how well laid out it was.
All I had to do was set up an account, provide details of the type of person I was looking for and submit. As there was nothing to lose at this stage, I was more than happy to feed my inquisitive nature. You are only required to pay to join an online dating site when you are ready to submit your own details. I still had no intention of doing this, so browsing would not harm anyone.
When I next looked at the clock, I was surprised to realise how much time had passed. I had been at my PC for a long while, I had become engrossed. These were real people; they did have real photographs as well. I was utterly amazed at how many different people had submitted their profile and embraced online dating. Perhaps I has misjudged online dating, maybe I was missing out on the love of my life simply because I did not understand it?
Within an hour I had created my full online dating account, I had uploaded my description and photo. I felt excited about the prospect of a new beginning, also nervous. What happens if I do not get any responses, what if no body likes me?
I should not have worried; online dating was a fantastic experience which ultimately led me to my wife and new found family. I'll tell you about that story another day. Until then, what are you waiting for!?
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