Can We Still Be Friends?
Excerpt From <b>The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life</b> by Kevin B. Burk
Even when we know it's time to end a romantic relationship, we're often reluctant to let go of our partners completely. We've shared so much of our lives with our partner, it seems almost callous to simply cut them out of our lives
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)What’s with the Shortage of Men? Dating Advice for Women Looking for Love
Dear Dating Coach, Everywhere I have moved, people immediately tell me there are no available men. When I moved to Oregon at the age of 32 for graduate school, I was immediately told by the local women that there were no men in the town. Then I moved to Seattle two years later and was told it's really a couples town and the locals aren't friendly.
Later I lived in New York City where the problems of single women are legendary, followed by a move to Connecticut where I was told the state was filled with families and married folks.
Now that I'm living in Spain, my Spanish teacher tells me that all her friends lament the shortage of men!
My question to you is, how do I deal with hearing that there are no men, wherever it is I'm living? I refuse to move to Alaska and I've never once lived in a place where people said, "Boy, are you lucky! This place is crawling with great, available guys!" Thanks, Missing Kisses
Dear Missing Kisses,
- Everyone said the earth was flat - Everyone said the Emperor's new clothes were fine - Everyone said sky lab would fall on our heads - Everyone said the computers would go wacky for Y2K
Did any of these things happen? Were any of these things true? No, No, No!
In 1987, Newsweek ran an article that claimed a single woman 35+ had a better chance of getting abducted by terrorists than to get married. I think you know which one happened to me.
Who cares what everyone says? "They" don't seem to have a very accurate track record.
Let's take a moment to remember a very important philosophical question: Is the glass half full or half empty? Truth be told, either way it's the same amount of liquid. The difference is solely perspective. You know of course that whatever we focus on is what becomes our reality. I often quote this Universal principle from Hawaiian Shamanism: "Energy Goes Where Attention Flows."
The question is
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Check Out The Cheater’s Checklist
Ask yourself these questions
Does your partner spend a lot of time on line?
Do they have other email accounts, do they use the computer after you have gone to bed, have they changed the passwords on your computer, maybe they delete all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.
It's common for a cheating partner to use e-mail to communicate with their lover. Some of the telltale signs in this category may also be an indication of involvement in an on line or cyber affair. Don't take this lightly. These affairs can be as harmful to your marriage as the real thing. Though they may not involve sexual contact, the emotional attachment can be extremely strong, and can quickly progress from cyberspace to physical reality.
Does your home phone ring and when "you" answer it there's no one there.
Illicit affairs depend on repeated contact; many of which take place by phone. These telltale signs of infidelity are relatively easy to find. Some people take the risk of calling their lovers from home or having their lovers call them at home.
Check your partner's mobile phone, look at the call log, incoming, outgoing, missed and deleted calls. Check the messaging, texts in and out and deleted
Does your partner have little or no interest in sex? Or have they changed their sexual habits
Be alert for any type of changes in the frequency or the quality of your sex life together. Most important of all: If you suspect your partner of having an affair, take steps to protect yourself. Do not put yourself at risk from HIV/AIDS, herpes or other sexually transmitted diseases.
Perhaps you find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy or maybe he carries condoms, and you are on the pill.
Take a few minutes to look over your partner's car; have they removed the kid's stuff or the baby seat?
The car can be a rich source of telltale signs. The glove compartment, car seats (underneath and between), the spare tyre well, under the sun visor, the ashtray, the side pockets or compartments, under the floor mats and other nooks and crannies can reveal a wealth of information .Has the passenger seat in the car has been moved and is not in the usual position.
Do their clothes smell different, like a lover's perfume or aftershave?
Has your partner recently started working late or has to attend lots of late meetings?
Business is commonly used as an excuse to account for large blocks of time away from home. Partners often use their jobs as a cover for extramarital affairs. Your partner's work habits will undoubtedly change as the affair unfolds.
Affairs generally require a considerable amount of time. There are only 24 hours in a day; your partner's absences will become increasingly more frequent as they try to steal time from other activities.
Has your partner changed their style of clothes i.e.: trying to look younger?
People having an affair (or even thinking about having one) will want to make themselves more attractive. They will begin to enhance his appearance in some way. Be alert for changes in wardrobe, grooming, physical appearance and personal hygiene.
These are usually the most visible signs of infidelity. If they embark on a drastic self-induced makeover, it's probably not for you.
Do they act nervous or fidgety whenever the name of a colleague or friend of the opposite/same sex is mentioned or talked about?
Studies show that we are more likely to have an affair with someone we already know, someone that they come into contact with on a regular basis
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)