Common Dating Conflicts And How To Handle Them
Dating on the internet can sometimes become tedious, and understanding how to resolve conflicts is of crucial importance. If you notice that your partner is not answering your emails, you should automatically terminate the date and move on to someone else. Failing to answer emails is rude unless they have a good reason for doing so. Lying is also a common problem for people who are dating.
To understand the concept of lying, you must first understand why people lie on dates. Many people lie in order to avoid what they see as being a potential conflict. For example, you may ask your date a question, and they may give you the answer that they think you want to hear instead of what they honestly think. This is problematic, because these people are creating false impressions. They are attempting to make you think they agree with you so that you will like them. However, their actions will eventually speak louder than their words. Being up front and letting you know they don't agree with you will show that they are honest.
Another reason why people lie is to avoid making changes to their lifestyle or behavior. However, by doing this, they are breaking one of the most important rules of dating, and this rule is to be yourself. When you lie to your partner so that you can avoid having to make changes to your life, you are being unfair to them, and you are being unfair to yourself. You are being unfair to your partner because you are deceiving them, making them think you're someone you're not. No matter how hard you try, your true colors will eventually come forth. You are also being unfair to yourself because you are trying to play a role that does not reflect your true personality.
A lot of people believe that lying or deception will allow them to avoid conflicts in their relationship. However, it will only make things worse in the long run, especially if you should decide to get married. A person that is telling the truth will have consistency in the things they say, while a liar will constantly have inconsistencies, and will need to cover up one lie with another.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Abiding Grace
While puttering at my computer last Friday night, I decided to search out an old friend whom I haven't heard from in years. Unbeknownst to me, another friend from this same era of my life was searching online for me. I believe this practice is held safe in the Biblical concept of, "Google unto others as you would have them Google unto you." Both friends had been on my mind lately, so when the latter friend's email popped onto the screen yesterday, the surprise revealed in a two-fold blessing. His own life is rich, meaningful and filled with love. He had also been in touch with our mutual friend, the woman I had been searching for, and was able to share a bit about her life. My hope is to contact her in the next few days, completing a circle begun thirty years ago. I have missed them both much more than I was aware.
Our lives, as a general rule, are like that. We move through them at warp speed, doing the best we can with what we've got, only to wake up one day trying to remember who and what matters to us. Planning our lives as 20-year-olds around a university commons table is so very different than reflecting back from middle-aged moments at our kitchen tables before turning out the lights and heading to bed. Somewhere between the two points of passage lie our hopes and dreams, blended thoroughly with the circumstances, events, choices and relationships that have shaped us. Perhaps "The Way We Were" isn't only a song, but also a way to understand and accept our own history.
As I stand in the doorway of my own kitchen each evening, I am circled by three impatient cats, ready to settle in for the night, and a life that is much more than I ever imagined it would be. All the steps that have brought me to flipping the light switch and walking down the hall to my bedroom are stored somewhere in my memory. Although I have a very good memory, I don't nave a need to bring up every finite detail of every experience from day one to the present. It's all there, I have used my time well and, like a casserole with just the right mix of ingredients, it tastes better and better each day.
There is also that unifying factor known as sauce. A classic Midwestern potluck dinner will always include several dishes with noodles, hamburger and vegetables. Depending on the cook, there will be a cheese, mushroom or tomato sauce, frequently supplied by the Campbell's Soup Company, blended with the other ingredients. While wholly practical, and completely un-exotic, the soup infuses what once was merely a pile of leftovers with something warm, inviting and nourishing, usually better than we expected.
What sauce is to a good casserole, God's grace is to our lives. What can feel like years of experiences and encounters that make no sense by themselves, are all joined together by grace, the grace by which we are called to something warm, inviting and nourishing, something much more than we ever imagined.
It is grace that surrounds al of us, inspires all of us, to share our lives with one another, bringing out the best we each have to offer at the table. It is grace that stirs and refreshes our souls and helps us find ourselves in each other again.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Quick and Easy Romantic Ideas
<b>1. </b>Warm your loves bath towel in the dryer while they're in the shower.
<b>2. </b>Go to the mall and split $20 between you and your love. Split up and find surprises for a romantic or seductive evening together. Keep your findings a surprise until that evening.
<b>3. </b>Stick a note on the remote control, "Come turn me on!"
<b>4. </b>Go to the movie theater just to make out. Get there early so you can sit in the back row.
<b>5. </b>Cut different sized hearts from colored paper. Write love messages on them such as "I love your smile", and "You make me laugh." Hide the hearts throughout the house for your love to find.
<b>6. </b>Be extra nice when your love has had a bad day.
<b>7. </b>Make wishes together by tossing coins in fountains every chance you get.
<b>8. </b>Hide a love note in your love's pants or coat pocket.
<b>9. </b>The slightest change in your normal routine can spark romance. Try using candles for mood lighting. They come in all shapes, sizes and smells. Aromatherapy candles are great for setting a mood and pheromone candles act as an aphrodisiac.
<b>10. </b>Write down your romantic fantasies and then pick a night to share them with each other.
<b>11. </b>Plan ahead; mark all the special upcoming days on your calendar.
<b>12. </b>Tonight, eat dinner by candlelight.
<b>13. </b>Plant a note or two in a book your love is reading. Write "I love you," I want you," or "XOXOXO."
<b>14. </b>Take a candlelit shower together.
<b>15. </b>Go to a coffee shop - just to sit together and talk. Or get coffee to go - go for a long scenic drive together.
<b>16. </b>Be naughty, play hooky together. Do whatever you want together.
<b>17. </b>Drive for an hour or two just to have a picnic or stop at a restaurant you've never been at.
<b>18. </b>While your love is taking a shower, sneak in and write, "I love you!" on the steamed mirror.
<b>19. </b>Next time you're walking anywhere, grab your love's hand or walk arm and arm.
<b>20. </b>Sit by the fire together roasting marshmallows or drinking wine.
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