Jealousy

"Love that is fed by jealousy dies hard" -Ovid

Jealousy can be consuming. It creates stress and anxiety in a relationship. Jealousy leaves you feeling insecure, vulnerable and frustrated. There is nothing good that comes from being jealous; regardless of whether you are the one who displays destructive jealous behaviors or if you are the victim of a jealous person.

First you have to differentiate between the two types of jealousy. Well-founded jealousy; jealousy brought on by some form of deception or infidelity. Or, unwarranted jealousy; the kind that stems from someone's insecurities and fears. If you are dealing with someone who is jealous and they have no reason; these unfounded fears can be quelled in time if you are in a healthy relationship. You address this by communicating their concerns or fears so there is nothing mysterious. By restoring confidence in the strength of your commitment you will begin to develop a mutual trust.

If someone is being totally unreasonable and unprovoked, without being able to be reasoned with; you have a bigger issue on your hands. Illusory thinking and false accusations can cause major problems and push the other person away. That's why it's so imperative that you express your feelings so you can put this monster to bed.

The fears behind these feeling are the culprit. If you are wondering why you aren't good enough; why you're afraid that your partner may be interested in someone else; why you question everything they do or if you're afraid they might leave you; these feelings have nothing to do with your relationship and everything to do with you. You are projecting your own inadequacies and your fear of loss is taking over your better judgment as to what is reality.

Insecurity is simply a lack of feeling secure. By trying to control someone you lose control of yourself. The green eyed monster is alive and well unless you tame your inner demons. As you begin to face your insecurities which cause this unwarranted jealousy; you will be able to have a healthier, happier life.

If you are with someone who has lost control and their feelings have taken over; you may experience episodes of unacceptable behaviors. Abuse is not something that should ever be tolerated.

On the other hand if you are jealous because your partner has given you reason to be; then regaining the trust in your relationship is difficult at best. It takes a major commitment by both parties to make things work. In particular, the effort must come from the person who caused the mistrust in the first place. This is when you find out what the deceptive partner is made of and how truly committed they are to re-building your trust. It takes a lot of reassuring and answering questions that are necessary in putting your relationship back on track.

When jealousy enters your mind and it is unfounded you know that you can diminish your fears by communicating your feelings. Get in control of your insecurities and build upon your mutual commitment.

But, if you are jealous because someone has betrayed you then you need to decide if this is a person with whom you believe you can rebuild trust and if you are still willing to work things out with them. The ball is in your court. It's your decision.

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Making Him Your Valentine

Make him your Valentine this year and show him all of the ways you want to reward him for being yours. Valentine's Day is a time for love and togetherness. Many couples spend the whole day looking for ways to show each other how in love they are and how much the other person in the relationship means to them. Couples love Valentine's Day because the whole day is about making your lover feel good. This year, make him your Valentine and find the best ways to make him feel good for the whole day.

Valentine's Hints

If you're in a relationship making him your Valentine will be easy. After all, who would you choose? Of course, it will make him feel good if you ask him. You can do this in a number of ways. Below is a list of ideas you could use to convince him to be yours.

Ask him nicely

Use sensual tactics to make him yours

Give him a card with your request written on The inside

Beg him to be yours

Write it in lip stick on the bathroom mirror

Leave him a suggestive photo of you on your pillow with Be Mine written on it

These are just a few of the ideas that you could use or you could make up another idea that you think he will like better.

Valentine's Day Presents

Most couples exchange one gift on Valentine's Day. While there is nothing wrong with this, in some ways it becomes very limiting. What gift is the best one for your lover? Should you get him something naughty or nice? What does he want more than anything?

These questions make it hard to pick the right gift. Of course, it does not have to be that way. This year consider buying him two gifts. One gift should be something practical. Maybe you will pick out a gift card to a home improvement store if he is a handyman or a certificate to the car detailing shop if he is a car buff. You might even choose to buy him clothes or a vacation. Whatever you choose it should be based on something you know he needs or you know he will love.

Next comes the naughty present. This present is all about fun for your man and your relationship. If he's into BDSM buy him some restraints, a leather flogger or whip, a paddle, or some medical equipment. If he's a more simple man consider buying him a vibrating masturbator, a love doll, or some sexy male lingerie. There are many other adult toys that would work for men, as well. Of course, if you think he will not be interested in toys you could pick out some adult movies you think he will like or buy him a subscription to his favorite adult magazine.

Your man will love the fact that you bought him something he can show off to his friends and something else that he can show off when he is alone with the woman of his dreams.

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