A Guide To Internet Dating
Finding Mr or Ms Right is something we all wish for. The problem is how, when and where to find them.
Over the past few years Internet dating has become very popular with around 80% of people over the age of 40 using Internet dating services to find a partner
Internet dating has one major advantage over meeting someone in a bar. You get to discover all about them before you have even said 'Hi' You can find out their place of birth, their religion likes and dislikes, hobbies and interests and so on.
Internet dating allows you to chat online and get to know someone before meeting him or her. This will obviously increase the chances of finding that special someone.
Quite often you can discover more about a person by correspondence and therefore weed out the people you do not think would be suitable for friendship or a relationship.
Essentially when you meet someone in a bar or social event the physical attraction may well be there but quite often after the first couple of dates you find out you have absolutely nothing in common with them and the relationship stops there.
Before you sign up to an Internet dating agency check around to find out the best ones and more importantly agencies that will be right for you. Think about what you want to get out of the service whether it's just a friendship or something more. Read some reviews about the agency first and how other people have found the service.
Once you have decided one of the most important things to get right is your picture.
This is the downside of Internet dating, the fact that you do not know whether you will be physically attracted to a person until you actually meet them. Making sure your photo is good quality, well lit and a close up shot of your face is essential as many people will be put off if they cannot make out what you look like because the photo is of poor quality and does not show what you look like.
Once you have selected a possible date engage in plenty of discussion with them prior to meeting them. Never disclose too much personal information about yourself or where you live. If a person pressures you to disclose information about yourself that you feel uncomfortable with end the communication right there. Any genuine contact will appreciate why you are being cautious with this information and will not try and manipulate it out of you.
The thing to remember when Internet dating is to have fun as well as make friends and meet potential partners.
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Getting Your Confidence Up To Approach Women
There's just a whole problem in that statement to begin with but this is a serious issue affecting millions of men.
Have you ever seen a beautiful woman and wanted to approach but you felt your physiology change? She was maybe just standing there but you felt butterflies in your stomach and you thought about some way to open and capture her interest?
I used to deal with these issues as well of being intimidated, nervous and self-conscious around beautiful women as well. Now there is no fear of any level of beauty; I can approach or not anytime and I frame it so that I can't get rejected (so at worst case it's a neutral transaction).
Unlike almost all of the seduction teachers and dating coaches out there, if you're having these issues I don't encourage you to 'keep approaching' so that you can start getting over the fear. Instead, let's deal with the real root issues and get them sorted out so you don't do any further psychological damage.
Yes, it's important to make connections with women but not necessarily if you're playing a numbers game where the odds are always stacked against you. A game in which you're disempowered to begin with and don't know what you're up against so you keep running into a brick wall. I don't encourage continued ignorance anymore.
If you have to 'get up the confidence'..was it there in the first place? It could have been with you normally, but not when you 'responded' to your perception of her beauty and what it means.
Who has the real power and who doesn't stand a chance but fools mate ANY time the relationship is like this? You know the answers. She has the power because you gave it to her in your hidden yet true relationship with her.
You could try NLP, hypnosis and body language exercises and it may help a little but you're still ignorant to the powers that you're fighting against (I used to be too). The answer lies in relational dynamics; understanding the truth of the social, behavioral and relational reality between you and the woman.
You're supposed to have 'the power' to begin with. If you go out there and keep approaching and then try to 'prove' to her that you have more value and power, it defeats the whole purpose. She knew you didn't have it in the first place.
Sure, sometimes they might feel sorry for you or you might be interesting enough that they'll give you 'a chance' but that's too inconsistent and variable plus you always risk rejection.
There really is an initial relational 'power game' that exists. This is a game in which you must be equal or greater in relational power to her in the first place. If you're not, she clearly has the favor and that's not where it's supposed to be; you will be struggling uphill because she is already not interested in you.
However when you show up with the power and continue to keep your power for yourself (not letting her be the stimulus to throw you off), then you have won the initial power game that most guys continue to lose at.
Then, she can trust you to be yourself because you have already proved to her that you are who you are. This makes everything easier and When this happens and she sees that you indeed are the stimulus (instead (instead of her), the real game can begin.
The answer to everything is just to BE that man of confident, high character at all times in relation to women and everyone else. That is what they are looking for anyways and they'll sacrifice on your other shortcomings.
When you 'are' that man who is always confident in himself and knows his relationship to all other elements of power/beauty, then you can accelerate new relations anytime because you are close to what women want and they will help you nonverbally to lead them where they want to go.
That's quite a difference than fighting against powers that you don't understand, while continuing to diminish your clarity of manhood itself. If you have to 'raise' your confidence or put on a game face, that a variable and incongruent character anyways.
You have to be the rock of character as a man, unshakable and unvariable so that women can open up to you. It's in the future that you can subtly let her know how much you might be interested. Be the model of attraction yourself.
When you keep 'the power' you can fearlessly approach to make a social connection so that she wonders if you're interested or not. You can say anything, have her respond and get a better feel of your unshakable character and then it's easier to take it from there.
After all, it's the woman's level of interest and attraction that matters, not yours. Sometimes all you'll have to do is show up and let things happen. The best way to meet high quality women anyways is through social networking; another big topic.
-Rion Williams
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Pros and Cons of Online Relationships
Modern technology hasn't solved any of the problems of creating and preserving a good relationship. Computers and the internet have merely added a new wrinkle in old pattern of love and loss. With websites that specialize in matching people up according to whatever criteria they choose, there are more and more people finding each other but, unfortunately, not many manage to stay together. While internet dating services may make it easier for people in one location to find people in a different location, it does absolutely nothing to give them the tools they need to stay together once they've met.
"Beware of dangerous waters" with online relationships has become the password of the 21st Century. There are weirdoes everywhere, not only on the internet, and the same precautions that you would take meeting and starting a relationship with someone face to face should be maintained in online relationships, only more so. The real problem with online relationships is the users' increased capacity to lie about who they really are and what they really want.
Meeting in chat rooms and communicating by emails often can lead to serious misrepresentations from both parties. Oftentimes when two online daters first meet in person, there is some initial shock. You may be a single woman, mid 30's, of average height and weight and you may represent yourself as a 22 year old Goddess. More common in online relationships are the men who pose as singles looking for relationships, and are actually married and looking to cheat on their wives.
Even with background checks, photo exchanges and the like, there is no guarantee the people you meet online are anything like the people they say they are. But, alas, this has more or less always been the way it's been, even before the internet came along.
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