The Value of Friendship
True friends are one of the gifts we receive as we go through life. They listen, they care, they call or visit when no one else will and they accept us for who we are, warts and all. I have a dear friend whom I have known since the age of 6. I know that when I speak to her I can count on her to listen and to care. She knows me like not many other people do, because she walked beside me for a number of years in school. She came from a family of 5 children while I was an only child. I was amazed by the noise and the interactions between the brothers and sisters. We loved going to each other's houses because of the fact it was so very different from our own.
We remember each other's birthday, we call every now and then to make sure the other is doing okay (we live in different cities). It's nice to know that someone out there, aside from family, who knows the real me. I recently shared with another long time friend that I may be requiring surgery, perhaps in the Fall. She immediately offered to go down to Vancouver with me, so that I would not be alone and to help alleviate the stress on my Mom by allowing her to stay in Vernon. Only a good friend would make such a kind offer. I have known this person since 1975 when we both lived in Regina as young married women with babies. Our lives have changed radically since then, our children are grown and we are now both living in the Okanagan. I felt so cared for when she made this kind offer.
It is my belief that having and being a good friend is very important in life. Most challenges and stressful situations can be overcome if someone is there to soften the fall, help you get up, listen and assure you that you are not going crazy, tell you that you are valuable, compliment you on being you and generally be kind and gentle toward you. Their words and actions can help you to feel worthwhile as a human being.
Friendship is a self-esteem builder and can be a stress reliever as well. As Henry Ford once said, "My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me."
In todays seemingly speeded up world, we don't seem to have as much time to nurture friendships. We are all rushing from one place to another and not taking the time to notice our fellow human being. No wonder we feel stressed, we are missing an important ingredient. Human interaction. That wonderful and very valuable time where we stop using our working brain and switch to our "hey, how ya doin?" brain
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)The Pick Up
Part 1 - The Available from the Unavailable
So you want to pick up that fox/stud sitting at the end of the bar but just don't know how to make contact. Rather then sauntering over and dishing up some cheesy line, follow these guidelines and you're sure to score… big.
A meat market (a. k .a, bar or club) is the best place to ogle human behavior in it's basest form, it's a public mating dance for all to see. We've all observed the classic cougar trying to sink her claws into an unsuspecting victim, or the Mr. Slick, martini in hand, dancing all by his lonesome. Do these stereotypical facades actually work when it comes to picking up?
First things first, you don't need a gimmick! There are probably enough gimmicks at your average meat market already. You're sure to find the cougars, the bored husband type (wife's at home in bed), and the "I just turned 19/21 and need to get super loud drunk to celebrate" crowd. And of course there's always the guy wearing the Hawaiian shirt, (no it doesn't make you a party animal), toque (you're not Enrique Inglesias), sunglasses (you're not a rapper), wife beater tank (you don't live in a trailer park and if you did, this wouldn't attract the fairer sex anyways). Of course women aren't innocent, we are bona fide experts at deceit, especially when it comes to eluding an aggressive pass when we don't find the suitor… suitable.
So how does one woo, and woo well? . We've already ascertained that gimmicks, lines and astrological signs don't work, so what does work? . I'm a big believer in subtle charm with a bit of mystery and confidence thrown into the mix. Of course knowing how to recognize the "I'm available" signs are key in picking up. The sign's which are all too obvious to some, go completely unrecognized by some eager Romeo's and Juliette's.
If the object of your affection is wearing a wedding or engagement ring then they are obviously off limits (unless they're coming onto you which is something you and your conscience need to consider before picking up). Some signs of being unavailable can be summed up by your target's body language. Crossed arms, avoiding eye contact or unwillingness to keep up small talk should tell you to try elsewhere. If someone seems to have a chip on their shoulder, that chip could be you. Don't take offense, it may have nothing to do with you, it just means that this person isn't looking to hook up on that particular night. Excuses are another obvious sign that someone is acting "unavailable". Girls are masters at an escape excuse. Here are some great excuses and the true meanings behind them…
I'm don't feel like dancing/ You repulse me, I'm going to flee to the other side of the dance floor!
I'm going to the bathroom/ Hopefully he will have found someone else by the time I return!
I have a boyfriend/ Whether I do or not, I'm not interested!
You remind me of my father/brother/uncle/ You remind her of her father/brother/uncle and that's not a good thing!
All fun aside, it's important to recognize the available from the unavailable. Once you feel someone is giving ample opportunity to make a pass, then you're ready for stage two in picking up… the approach.
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