Dating and Social Networking
Remember the days when people would be tingling with excitement on a Wednesday at the thought of the weekend ahead? What would happen and what discos would be visited and what pubs would be trawled. Keep in mind the internet and mobile phones were in their early years back then. Usually people would do the groundwork during the week, chatting up and smooth talking the girls and boys. As usual it was the lads that did most of the chasing. Friday would arrive and school or work would come and go, and much of the gossip would be pointed towards the weekend ahead. The girls would be panicking over what to wear and the lads would usually try to find the most suitable clean items from the dirty laundry. Make up and hair cream would be applied and people would think nothing of walking or cycling 10 miles to go to a disco or bar in the hope of meeting that special person.
Eyes wide with excitement and the thought of remaining sober long enough to be able to hold an intelligent conversation together proved quite a task in those days. The girls would clutch gigantic handbags, white knuckled at the thought that their future husband could be only steps away and the lads would be strutting about chest out like the proverbial peacock, pint of guinness in toe.
Even in Ireland in the 80's matchmaking was done subconciously, even if people did not realise it. It still exists in some shape or form and people still flock from all over Ireland to the famous Lisdoonvarna festival where in the older days pig farmers and spinsters would flock from every corner of Ireland in the hope of meeting that one person to change their lives, and of course the music and the thought of pouring 20 pints of creamy guinness back ones neck.
This brings me to the change in all aspects of relationships and dating throughout the late 90's and to the present day. A few years back I was sharing a house with a good friend of mine and computers were an issue for him and, the internet being a mind boggling mass of zeros and ones. By trade he was a tv and satellite installer and come Wednesday the repetitive strain injury would have been a possible issue due to the fact of numerous texts flying backwards and forwards in the hope of lining up a few unsuspecting young ladies for the weekend. With his thirst and skill for chatting up women of all walks of life he could obviously see the internet was an untapped source that could save him a small fortune hitting the clubs and bars, not to mention the multiple hangovers to deal with.
After a period of time he mastered the internet and its huge realm of escapism became his new playground. Sometimes I would get up for a drink in the middle of the night and find a Homer Simpson shaped hole in my couch in the shape of this new Internet dating guru looking bleary eyed from spending numerous hours flirting on the computer.
After a few years I decided to develop my own site, but aspects of the Internet change very fast and of course the internet is as fickle as a Roman mob. First of all I started to look at sites that seemed to be too over complex and obviously there are a huge number of pay sites out there, each seemed to offer you all singing all dancing sites with all the bells and whistles. You sign up for a basic profile and then you start getting bombarded with emails from women who look like they should appear on Spice Platinum. Alarm bells started going off in my head straight away. The in the middle of my analysis dating took a huge turn on the internet, free sites started appearing and paying seemed to be a thing of the past. In the middle of development I had to scrap some of my ideas as yet another phenomenon happened on the Internet, social networking sites started appearing. I studied a large number of them and huge volumes of people started to use these sites for social networking but upon further investigation I could see that basically people were using these "friendship tools" as a guise for dating. After many late nights and numerous bottles of Jameson I decided to stick to a simplified version of my original plan and trim down my site, make it free, keep it simple to use and easy on the eye.
I have looked at hundreds of sites over the years, read numerous articles from CEO's who obviously are paper pushers who have no talent for design or flair and probably do not know the difference between html and PHP. I do not want to make millions from the Internet, I just wanted to design something that was easy to use and would give people a lot of enjoyment. I have also been lucky to have a girlfriend that has supported me through all this when most of my time and effort was focused on research, analysis and designing the site. Also I have been very lucky to find an incredible developer who managed to transform all my ideas into reality and for both of them I could not have created the product I wanted. It still needs fine tuning but doesn't everything! Check it out and I appreciate feedback from anyone, www.dateandmate.net. Oh yes if my satellite friend reads this, you still owe me 300 euros for the internet bill!
Patsy O'Connor Director www.dateandmate.net
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Want to Make a Great Impression That Will Guarantee Date 2, 3 and Beyond?
What Men Want Women to do on a First Date:
Tell him where you would like to go on a date
If your date asks, ?Would you rather go to this new wine bar I heard about or just have a drink at the local pub?? quit trying to second-guess what he wants to do and just state your preference. Men want to do the right thing. If you have a preference for where you want to go or what kind of food you want to eat, and he asks?tell him! It takes the pressure off him and lets him make you happy.
Loosen up and enjoy the spontaneity
A date should not be hard work! If anything, HE is the one who should be working hard while you sit back, relax, and enjoy the scenery. Dating coach, Camelia Fredericks states that men love to be with women who set them at ease and make them feel comfortable to be themselves. Men find first dates just as stressful as you, so when they take out a woman who is relaxed and ready to enjoy herself, they immediately feel as if she was worth all the trouble it took to plan the date.
So don?t criticize, don?t talk about anything negative, and avoid any ?deep? conversations on that all-important first date. Have fun together! Even if you know he?s not the one from the moment you spot his bald patch or he mentions he is in love with Jordan and has her posters up on his bedroom wall, you can at least have an entertaining night and feel content that you?re not sitting home alone waiting for Mr. Right to knock on the door.
If you?re up for anything, a guy will appreciate your enthusiasm. In case the date does not run smoothly ?you spilled your drink on your dress, a heel broke on your shoe, or his car broke down on the motorway. The way you respond will tell him how you?ll act when the crunch time comes when you?re in a relationship together. If you can carry off any crazy situation with good humour, he?ll be impressed ? and he?ll want to keep you from getting away!
If you use too much I and Me, you'll never get to say We
If you dominate a conversation with the word "I", the relationship will surely die. People want to learn indirectly how wonderful you are, not hear it directly from you. Being a legend in your own mind will bore your date and prove you wrong. If you constantly talk about yourself, you'll learn nothing about your date. On the other hand, people like to talk about themselves because they think they know the subject well. Ask him about his job and his holidays and do appear interested. Give a man attention and he will love you for life, insists Camelia Fredericks.
Let Your Independence Show
First dates are a time to decide if you want to get to know each other better. The more interesting things you have to share about your life?hobbies, achievements, unusual experiences, unique interests?the more he?ll realize that there is a lot more about you that he?s yet to discover. Don?t give him your life story all at once, though. Mention the time you went trekking in Nepal, or when you decided to changed careers ? and move on to another topic, saying that you?ll tell him the full story another time. This tells him two things: first, that you?re a woman full of mysterious and exciting ideas, and second, that you?ve given him permission to ask you out again.
Men prefer women with full, active lives to women whose only interest is to find a partner with whom to spend the rest of their life. If the only reason that you are going out on a date is to find Mr. Right, you may want to reassess your priorities before you head out that door. Remember that you are a fulfilled, confident, amazing woman. You are NOT looking to your date to be a knight in shining armour and rescue your life from the Dreaded Tower of Loneliness. Rather, you?re going out there to have a good time with a person you?ve never met before. He may end up becoming a good friend rather than the soul mate you were hoping for. The most important thing to remember is DON?T lay all your expectations on him! Poor guy ? he?s just human, after all!
The secret is being shrouded in a little mystery. Dating guru, Camelia Fredericks reveals that if you leave him wanting more, you'll certainly leave him wanting you!
What women want men to do on a first date:
Have a game plan
Women love a man with a plan, so be sure you?ve got at least one great idea of what you?d like to do on the big date. Just say, ?Was there something in particular you want to do? I have a couple ideas…? We?re not saying she won?t mix your suggestion and propose an alternative, but she?ll like knowing you haven?t just kicked back and left all the planning up to her. ?Women hate when men ask ?What do you want to do? You need to do your homework too. Ice skating at Somerset House, bowling at All Star Lanes or even a picnic in Kew Gardens are some of the ideas that Camelia Fredericks suggests to break the ice and have fun getting to know each other!
Confirm the night before
You called her Monday and agreed to go out that Friday. Don?t wait until 4 p.m. the day of your date to check in. Instead, call her the day before to figure out where you are going to meet and at what time. She?s probably gotten a manicure and perhaps even bought a new pair of shoes. The last thing she needs is to wonder the day of the date if it?s still a go.
Be a gentleman
Pulling out her chair or opening doors in front of her may feel a bit too forced these days, but many women love being treated like a lady. So give it a go, and remember to compliment her when you see her at your meeting place??You look wonderful; great to see you? is fine. Let her order first, or ask if you can order your favourite starter for both of you to share. Thank her at date?s end for a lovely evening, and reference something specific, like, ?What a great night. And now that I?ve heard your opinion, I definitely do have to get that book by Amy Tan.?
Ask for a second date at the end of the first one
Want to see this woman again? Let her know at the end of the first date. Not just a general ?Let's do this again? but a specific ?Are you free for dinner on Friday?? It shows he's interested, and it takes a lot of the anxiety out of wondering if and when he's going to call. And what?s better than ending a great date with the prospect of another one to look forward to?
Filed under Uncategorized | Comment (0)Dating Checklist For Guys
Going on a date?
This dating checklist will help you leave a great impression.
Start with your skin. Greasy skin is a turn off. A good skin care regime lets you look your best in all situations. I know of a woman who rejected a suitor because he had a face like a platter of grease. Sounds shallow but let's face it. A large part about the initial attraction between a man and a woman stems from outward appearances. Besides, good looks would help out in your career as well as your prowess with women. If you have a problem with acne or any other skin problem, do not hesitate to see a doctor about it. Masks may seem girly but if you do those in the privacy of your own room, who would know? After washing your face, mix kaolin with witch hazel to form a watery paste you can spread on your face. Spread it on, leave it until it dries. Do that once a day to manage acne and oily skin.
So what are you going to talk about when you meet. Outward appearances count initially. Then conversation begins. Have you any idea what her interests are? Read up on the things that interest her so conversation would flow more easily.
How about your hair? Do you wash your hair regularly? Do you apply so much hair gel or cream to hold your hair in place that if your date were to run her fingers through your hair, she'd get a nasty surprise? Wash and dry your hair before your date. Use something light to hold your hair in place if you must. Don't let her catch you preening though. Women get put off buy guys who appear too into their looks as most women prefer their men to appear naturally attractive.
How about your body? Do you work out? Just before you get ready to meet her, do as many lunges, sit ups and push ups as you can for that pumped up effect before you met. Don't flex your arms or strut around like a peacock when you're with her. Again, women like to think you're naturally sexy.
Next comes your mouth. Yes. Dental hygiene. You don't want to put her off with bad breath and the worst thing about bad breath is that the sufferer is usually oblivious to his or her condition. Check out these tips to avoid bad breath.
Finally comes your scent. Yes, the way a man smells has a primal effect on women. I'm not talking about stale sweat that's brimming with bacteria. That smells foul. I'm talking about the scentless pheromones secreted with your sweat which you'd wash off after a shower. The problem is by getting rid of the stale sweat, you wash off what women naturally find attractive. I'm not saying you should quit bathing altogether. The resulting stench would drive a woman away. I'm suggesting you put back the sex appeal that went down the drain.
It's all about pheromones. Spritz on some Pheromone cologne. It'll increase your attractiveness to women.
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